Haruno Legacy
by PhoenixClaw
Summary: In all of Konaha, one mystery rises above the rest: What genetic combination could possibly yield a green eyed, pink haired kunoichi? Whether they're up to it or not, Naruto and Sasuke are about to find the answer.


**_DISCLAIMER: _**Don't.Own.Ninjas.

OK, this is yet another one-shot that I figured more or less had to be written. I won't bore you with useless information other than to say this should be the last new thing I produce before switching tracks and updating Chapter 7 of 'Just Another Day'. (Err, for all of you that care about that, at least. -sweatdrop-)

* * *

Two boys sat beneath the Ichiraku canopy, each taking a moment to enjoy the beautiful sunshine glistening down upon them. 

Well, 'tolerate' might have been a better word for one.

Sasuke regarded the ramen before him with disdain. His sense of unease wasn't based upon any particular dislike for the starchy meal, though he would never admit that to the blond boy sitting beside him, but rather a growing apprehension for the immense cleaning bill looming above his poor wallet.

The Uchiha member hesitantly raised the bowl to his lips only to be jostled by an elbow, spilling soup all down the front of his jacket...again. Sasuke let out a resigned sigh as Naruto continued to shovel ramen into his face at a break-neck speed.

After several more seconds, the Uzumaki boy placed the empty bowl alongside the others and washed it down with a glass of water. He rubbed his belly before continuing their conversation from before.

"Maybe they both wear pink clothes! I remember Iruka-sensei saying that babies look the way they do because their parents own certain types of jeans, or something..."

His raven-haired teammate cast him an odd look before pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Naruto, thats not how it works at all. Besides, she probably just dyes her hair in the morning. There's no way Sakura could naturally be that color."

Naruto jabbed his chopsticks in the other boy's direction as he responded in turn.

"You don't know that! Besides, the only way to be sure is to look at what type of pants her mom and dad wear!"

Sasuke face-palmed.

"You're an idiot."

Despite the harsh words, Naruto assumed an impish grin.

"C'mon, Sasuke...you wanna know just as much as I do, and I just happen to have the perfect plan!"

The Katon-user cast his rival a withering glance.

"A plan, huh? Kinda like the time you wanted to see what was under Kakashi-sensei's mask?"

Naruto sweat-dropped, taking the opportunity to slap a hand to the back of his neck.

"Heh, yeah, well...forget about that. Don't you at least wanna see what her parents look like?"

Sasuke absently fiddled with his chopsticks before placing them atop a napkin. He blew out a derisive huff before turning to the blond at his side.

"...What's your idea?"

The Uzumaki boy took on a face-splitting grin as he spun about in his seat.

"We go over to Sakura's house for breakfast! That way, we'll know for sure if she dyes her hair _and_ get to see her parents! Or at least their clothing..."

Crisp raven locks swayed gently in the breeze as Sasuke shook his head.

"And what are we supposed to do, just invite ourselves over? Sakura's not an idiot like you...she'll figure it out if we're obvious about it."

Before either boy could continue, a petite presence made itself known behind them.

"Figure out what, Sasuke-kun?"

Both male genin turned to regard their third teammate, a quizzical expression adorning her delicate features. Naruto opened his mouth extra wide for a boisterous greeting just as Sakura squeezed in between the two, turning her full attention to the boy of her dreams.

"So what is it? A surprise?"

The young kunoichi began to radiate a deep reddish hue at the very notion that Sasuke might be keeping a secret from her. A secret crush? A secret _love_? Maybe he was going to propose! Oh, she would find the most adorable pink floral dress and decorate her hair with roses and force Ino-pig to be the bridesmaid and the whole village would say what a beautiful wife she made and-

_Sakura..._

Then they would name their first child after one of his parents and they would move to a small country town where they could build a new Uchiha mansion with a swing set and a sandbox and a-

_S-Sakura..._

It would be roomy and safe and she would go down in history as the woman who single-handedly helped revive one of the most prestigious clans in all of Konaha! And there would be a live-in cook and Naruto could baby-sit on the weekends and-

"Sakura! You're-crushing-me!"

Two seafoam-green eyes blinked in surprise.

"Hmm?"

Sure enough, the boisterous young woman had apparently managed to wrap both arms around the brooding boy's neck and proceeded to slowly crush him to her chest not unlike a pink-haired anaconda.

Both parties detached themselves from one another in an instant. Sakura assumed a renewed shade of crimson. Sasuke hoped he could fault the sun for the prominent amount of redness on his cheeks. Naruto simply hunched in his seat while regarding the two with a dissatisfied scowl.

_Stupid Sasuke. He doesn't appreciate Sakura-chan at all! Tch, I bet it'd be the worst day of his life if she ever thought he really did like her as much as-_

Naruto's eyes grew to epic proportions only to be squeezed shut several moments later by a mischievous foxy grin.

Unperturbed by the recent events unfolding around him, the Uchiha boy quickly regained his stoic persona and regarded the girl in a cool, collected fashion.

"It has nothing to do with you, Sakura. We were just talking about a few things that came up in one of our sparring sessions. Isn't that right, Naruto?"

Sakura turned to regard her orange-clad teammate, leaving Sasuke to enjoy a much sought after drink from the bowl of soup in his hands. Naruto absently scratched his chin as he casually glanced off to the side.

"Actually Sakura-chan, Sasuke was just trying to figure out the best way to say how much he really likes you..."

The Katon-user promptly spit the contents of his mouth all across the small counter before him. His kunoichi admirer took on a beaming expression that threatened to outshine the sun.

"Oh, _Sasuke-kun!_ I knew you'd come around! Playing coy with me all this time...you big flirt!"

The Uchiha boy immediately found himself ensnared in another devastating bear hug while Sakura rocked back and forth with glee. The young man forced his head around her small frame in order to cast a death glare at his backstabbing rival. Naruto simply regarded him with a grin as he frantically gestured to continue their little charade.

Sasuke unfastened the arms about his windpipe while simultaneously planning the best way to beat the stuffing out of Naruto later on. He cast such tantalizing thoughts off to the side as he desperately tried to avoid eye contact with the young girl practically drooling atop his shoulder.

"It...its not like that at all. None of us...ahh...really see one another outside of training, so I-_we_...Naruto and I...we thought it would be nice to..."

He directed a pleading look at Naruto. The boy in question flashed him a patented 'Nice Guy' pose before brushing him off for another bowl of ramen. Sasuke's left eyebrow gave a horrid twitch at the total breakdown in communication.

"Err...we thought it would be nice to, uhh...get to know you...better...I guess..."

Sakura squealed with delight as a pair of stars began to dance atop her eyes.

"You mean like go out on a date?"

Sasuke instinctively recoiled at the four letter word. Stupid Naruto and his stupid plans! His social graces barely reached the point of civility; how was he supposed to direct a conversation without sounding too suspicious?

"Uh, n-no...Naruto should come too, so that wouldn't work and-"

"Thats ok! We can have a double date! I'm sure we can dredge up _someone_ who can put up with him for a couple of hours..."

The Uchiha's train of thought abruptly derailed at such an unexpected verbal right hook. He cast a vacant stare at the figure currently bent over his eighth meal of the day.

"Naruto...explain..._now_."

The boy in question glanced up with a noodle dangling off his lip. He slurped it down with gusto.

"Eh? Oh, yeah! We should all go over your house for breakfast so we can meet your parents and see if you dye your hair!"

Sasuke immediately pitched to the side, barely catching himself on the edge of his seat.

"_Idiot!_ Why didn't you just say that in the first place!?"

Naruto gave a non-committal shrug.

"I thought you were handling it pretty well."

The dark-haired boy sweat-dropped just as Sakura took on a rather perplexed expression.

"Wait a minute. You two wanna meet my parents?"

She set a pair of hands on her hips as curiosity quickly bloomed into irritation.

"And why would you think I dye my hair...?"

Naruto glanced at Sasuke. Sasuke glanced back at Naruto.

"No reason."

The pink-haired girl relaxed her arms and regarded the two in an aloof manner.

"Well, if you wanted to meet my family, you should have just said so. I'm sure mom won't mind if I bring my teammates over, so I guess we can all have breakfast at my place tomorrow before meeting with Kakashi-sensei."

Sakura tapped a finger against her chin.

"Oh, and you'll have to be quiet, too. My dad works the night shift so he still might be sleeping when you two come by, ok?"

Both boys nodded in unison. That had gone surprisingly well.

Their green-eyed comrade took on a heartfelt grin as she headed off once more.

"Ok then! I'll see you two tomorrow!"

Just as she was almost out of earshot, the young woman cupped two hands to her lips and addressed them both in a sing-song voice.

"Don't forget to bring your appetite, Sasuke-kun! And Naruto..."

The blue-eyed shinobi grinned broadly as he turned about.

"Don't be an idiot and fill up on ramen before you come by!"

Naruto slumped forward in defeat. Why was _he_ always the one to get yelled at?

After their female counterpart had rounded a corner, the two boys once again regarded the empty ramen bowls set before them. Sasuke took on a ghost of a smile.

"The best part is that you would have if she didn't say anything."

Naruto fished out his froggy wallet and placed it on the counter before him. He gave Gama-chan a gentle poke in the belly before casting his rival a sour look.

"...Shut up, Sasuke."

-

The next morning, both shinobi found themselves outside a mid-sized apartment on the east side of the village. 'Haruno' was prominently displayed atop the front door amidst hand-painted sakura blossoms set beneath a coat of cherry-tinted varnish.

Sasuke closed his eyes and began to focus on the task at hand.

He could do this. Just stay calm and treat it like any other mission. So what if he was willingly going to enter the house of a crazed fan girl who might or might not rip off his clothes if given half a chance? It wasn't like he felt anything for her in return. Nope, no way. And if she happened to take them up to her room? Again, no big deal. He wouldn't even let himself think about what she might have done had they been alone. All the flirting, their close proximity, she might even try to place a hand on his leg while he sat on her bed! Not that he would sit on her bed in the first place, mind you, nor would he allow himself to get close enough so as to feel her sultry breath upon his neck or think about the cool bedsheets beneath his palms or focus on that intoxicating body spray she seemed to be wearing nowadays or-

DING-DONG!

"_Gah!_"

Naruto turned to observe his teammate clinging to a nearby lamppost, his tanned finger still pressed firmly against the doorbell before him.

"Jeez Sasuke, jumpy much?"

The Uchiha prodigy slid down from his safety zone and quickly wiped the sweat from his brow.

"Dammit Naruto, _I wasn't ready!_ Why do you always have to be so-"

Just at that moment, their pink-haired hostess opened the door dressed in a traditional pastel kimono with her hair up in a bun. Both young men gulped uneasily as she cast them a beautiful good-morning smile.

"Hi guys! Sorry about not being ready. Heh, guess I lost track of time while I was taking a bath."

Sakura took on a chibi grin as she tipped her head to the side.

"Anyways, come on in!"

Their young guide turned and led them into the house, her slender hips swaying gently beneath the thin silken material covering the entire length of her back.

Naruto followed the alluring trail like a love-sick puppy. Sasuke just flat out forgot to breathe.

After all three arrived in the kitchen, Sakura turned about only to have her kimono slip a scant few inches down her shoulder, in effect allowing both boys a seductive glance at her collarbone.

"I've gotta get changed, so why don't you two wait right here and I'll be back in a sec, ok?"

Naruto and Sasuke nodded dumbly while doing their best to keep their eyes at...well, eye level.

As their pink-haired teammate vacated the room, each genin took a respective seat at the small kitchen table laced with all sorts of breakfast condiments. The orange-clad boy peered around the cozy dining area as he took in the unusual sights before him.

Food actually put away in its proper place, the complete lack of bugs crawling across the table, a distinct aroma of flowers as opposed to sour milk, Sasuke turning the slightest shade of purple, pristinely white dishes set upon the-

Wait a minute.

"Uh, Sasuke...? Are you al-"

_EXHALE!_

The Uchiha prodigy promptly doubled over in agony as he tried to suck some air back into his lungs.

"Stupid...(huff)...kimono and her...(puff)...stupid hair bun..."

Naruto cast his teammate a quizzical look just as the back door opened to reveal a distinct female figure entering from the porch. Both young men immediately turned about, and gasped-

At the sight of a completely ordinary looking brown-haired, brown-eyed woman.

A pair of almond eyes blinked in surprise at the two newcomers sitting around her kitchen table.

"Well good morning! You must be Uchiha Sasuke and Uzumaki Naruto. Its so nice to finally have the chance to meet you two! Oh, you boys must be starved...I'll start making something while you wait for Sakura."

And with that, a pink apron found itself fastened about a slender waist as their newfound hostess began to hum a merry tune.

Naruto kept his voice low as he discreetly nodded towards the woman's choice of attire.

-"Told ya."-

Sasuke's eye gave a violent twitch.

-"Shut up, Naruto."-

Regardless, it wasn't long before the two shinobi found themselves swept up in the task of breaking eggs, gathering flour and setting the table. Naruto was just about to serve himself a pancake when a gentle hand came to rest upon his shoulder.

"Ah, no dear. We still have to cook the batter first..."

The blue-eyed boy cast an uncertain look at the formless blob decorating his plate.

"...Oh."

From somewhere behind them, the distinct clap of sandals upon wood announced the arrival of their third breakfast companion. Sakura took one glance at the two boys and smiled warmly. Handsome young men slaving over a hot stove for her...what a great way to start the day.

The kunoichi's grin faltered slightly as her mother delicately pried Naruto's tongue away from the cheese grater.

"There you are Sakura! Would you be a dear and get the waffle iron? We're just about ready to sit down and eat."

Complying with her mother's wishes, the pink-haired girl gathered up the requested item and scooted in next to Sasuke. The boy in question turned to regard his teammate with what he hoped was a neutral expression. All in all, it didn't help much when she instantly burst into a fit of giggles. The raven-haired boy cast her a half-hearted sneer.

"...What?"

Unperturbed, Sakura took on a demure expression and licked the tip of her finger. Much to Sasuke's chagrin, she swiped the small appendage across his features and held it up in a triumphant manner.

"You had some flour on your nose, Sasuke-kun..."

The Uchiha instantly glanced off to the side, eager to focus on anything other than that enticing grin.

"...Whatever."

Unfortunately, such a touching moment was not lost upon those gathered at either side. Naruto went through the motions of gagging violently as the woman opposite him gave both his teammates an affectionate pinch on the cheek.

"Aren't you two just _precious?_ Alright now, everyone sit down at the table and I'll have breakfast ready in two shakes of a nin-dog's tail!"

All three genin took the time to clean up the best they could, some still rubbing a sore cheek, before taking a seat. Sakura inched a bit closer to the moody boy on her right and allowed a knee to rest alongside his own.

Before long, the nervous young man was presented with a hot plate of goodies to help balance out the cold sweat trickling down his back.

A hot plate of waffles, to be exact.

Waffles with 'ROFL' branded into their center.

Come to think of it, you might even call them-

Sasuke's eyebrow just about overtook his headband.

"Are these...'rofl' waffles?"

The older woman gave a cheerful nod.

"Thats right dear! When Sakura told me we'd be having guests, I went straight to the store and bought a few things I've heard so much about. With you kids 'hanging ten' on the Internet nowadays, I thought it might be fun to include a little bit of that in your meal! Though I never really understood what any of it means..."

Before she could continue, both boys directed an inquisitive glance at their green-eyed comrade. She met their gaze with a blank look and a shrug of her shoulders. Soon enough, a plethora of items were arranged at varying locations across the tabletop.

"Let's see now...we have 'omg' orange juice, 'pwnage' pancakes and...'stfu' sausage links."

The orange-clad boy tried his best to hide a snicker.

"I...I think Sasuke would like a sausage link, Haruno-sama..."

The older woman offered a plate of the scrumptious delicacy to the aforementioned genin.

"Stfu, Sasuke?"

Naruto promptly burst into laughter. Sakura in turn drove a fist into his skull. Minding his manners, the Uchiha took the proffered item with the slightest twitch of a smile.

"T-Thank you, Haruno-sama..."

He was answered by an affectionate pat on the head.

"Please, call me Akina! Oh, and Sakura sweetheart? Would you be a dear and see if you can find your father? Today's his day off and he promised to help me weed the garden."

Anxious for any reason not to be in the presence of her annoying teammate, Sakura hastily popped a rolled up pwnage pancake into her mouth and headed off to parts unknown. Naruto and Sasuke were left to savor the Internet-savvy meal as their hostess excused herself to take care of some laundry.

"See, Sasuke? A pink apron! That explains everything!"

The Katon-user gave his rofl waffle a cautious stab before addressing the idiocy of the figure beside him.

"The reason babies look the way they do is because of what the _parents _look like, not what they're _wearing_..."

Naruto took a bite of his contemporary meal before taking on a haughty expression.

"Tch, well yeah. They're both girls after all, so of course Sakura would look like her mom. I'm not an idiot, ya know."

Sasuke could already feel a headache coming on as he casually handed his waffle-adorned fork to the boy at his side.

"Hold this."

His blond teammate cast him an odd look before hesitantly complying.

"Uh, ok...why am I-"

Before he could continue, the Uchiha flashed through a series of hand seals. Naruto's eyes became tiny cerulean pin-pricks.

"_Katon! Phoenix Flame __no jutsu!"_

Moments later, Sasuke was enjoying his new crispy waffle while Naruto yelped in horror as he tried to extinguish the miniature flames dancing atop his forehead. After his golden locks had been reduced to a smoldering mess, the orange-clad boy cast his teammate a nasty scowl. He was met with a smirk.

"That was for the sausage link."

Hostilities set aside, both boys continued to eat in silence, absently wondering where their third teammate had ultimately wandered off to. Deciding it better to eat now and think about others later, the two genin continued to pick at their individual meals as they once again took in their surroundings. Sasuke simply hoped the rest of his day wouldn't be compromised by any more of Naruto's painfully inept conversational skills.

He needn't worry, however, for the foxy-nin had found something much more interesting within his general realm of perception.

"Hey Sasuke, look at this! Do ya think they'll mind if I take a piece?"

Turning about, the Sharingan-user spied a small pack of Watermelon BubbleYum held aloft in the other boy's hand. He shrugged his shoulders in apathy.

"Knock yourself out."

Grinning broadly, the orange-clad shinobi tore off the wrap-around seal and popped a piece into his mouth. As a sheer testament to coincidence, Sakura chose that exact moment to once again grace them with her presence. Sasuke took the opportunity to snag a piece for himself as well.

"Sorry guys, but I can't find my dad anywhere. I really wanted you to meet him and-"

Just at that moment, the young kunoichi happened to spy the commercialized packaging held by her blue-eyed teammate. The boy in question offered her a piece of the tasty little confectionery treat.

"Want some?"

Suffice it to say, Sakura's face promptly grew as pale as a bed sheet.

"_Daddy!"_

Before either boy could properly digest that particular bit of dialogue, the young woman had already lunged towards her fellow blond-haired genin and began to throttle him for all she was worth. The tiny item dropped to the floor with a satisfying _thud_.

"_How could you do that to my father!? Do you have any idea how hard it is for him already without people stereotyping him like that?"_

Through it all, Sasuke simply stood as stiff as a board, numb to the cries for help coming from his rival as he was gradually shaken apart. After what seemed an eternity, the Uchiha prodigy glanced down at the small piece of pseudo-candy in his hand and undid the wrapping. His entire face began to twitch with the tempo of the beating going on beside him.

_Watermelon BubbleYum...green on the outside...pink on the inside..._

Finished with her chores, Akina entered from the hallway and observed the shenanigans taking place before her. Sasuke glanced upward and stared at his female teammate as if for the very first time.

"Oh. My. God._"_

The older woman immediately handed the boy a carton of orange juice.

"Here ya go!"

That was met with a frazzled stare.

"Wha-_no!_ I mean, when did she-...how could you-...it's not even-..."

Akina nodded in understanding as she pried her daughter away from the bedraggled boy. Naruto promptly slumped to the floor, thankful for the ability to breathe again.

"Now Sakura, let the boys play if they want to. You know your father always wanted you to have a brother. As for the two of us, well..."

She scooped up the small package and held it close to her heart.

"When two people love each other very much, wonderful things can happen! Sure, its been difficult at times over the years, but our love has always seen us through in the end."

The pink-haired, green-eyed girl cast her mother a distraught grimace.

"But mom! Naruto ate some of dad! How can you forgive that?"

She was met with a cordial nod and grin.

"Oh, don't worry about him dear. He's part of a six-pack, remember? The rest of him is in the drawer by the sink."

Sakura blinked in surprise before brightening considerably.

"Oh yeah, I forgot!"

She snatched a lonely piece of gum from the hand of her raven-haired teammate.

"Mmmm...watermelon flavor. Thanks daddy!"

Having made out some of the conversation despite his semi-comatose state, Naruto peered up at the family trio in a state of abject confusion.

"B-But...bubble gum doesn't even _have_ pants..."

That little pearl of wisdom proved too much for the poor Uchiha prodigy, and it was with a hasty retreat as well as an imminent case of post traumatic stress disorder that he hastily vacated the cozy apartment with Naruto stuffed under an arm. Fortunately, a heartfelt declaration from Sakura that they should do this again some time gave him all the strength he would need to skip breakfast for the rest of his natural life.

-

Some time afterwards, both boys once again found themselves sitting beneath the Ichiraku canopy, each pondering over their recent ordeal while hunched over a fresh bowl of ramen. Naruto turned to his companion and took on a contemplative look.

"Ya know what, Sasuke?"

The boy in question closed his eyes as he began to rub his temples.

"...What?"

Several rays of sunlight reflected off a Konaha headband set beneath spiky blond hair.

"I was just thinking about Sakura and her family..."

That particular statement was met with a partially opened eye.

"And...?"

The whisker-marked boy blew a bubble from the piece of gum he had for some ungodly reason decided to hold on to. Sasuke twitched slightly at the gooey reminder to such a distressing experience.

"Well, considering how weird everything turned out, Sakura's dad being a pack of gum and all..."

"Go on."

The blue-eyed shinobi fidgeted in his seat, trying to think of the very best way to articulate what was currently running through his mind.

"It's just that...I kinda feel like we might have bitten off more than we could chew."

Both boys were engulfed in a deafening silence.

"Naruto."

"Yeah, Sasuke?"

The foxy-nin remained in a hushed state as his rival took a hearty drink from the bowl of soup before him.

"_Shut up_."

-

Meanwhile, Tenten and Neji were heading through the village streets, hand in hand, happy for a little time alone as well as a sizable distance away from anything that might be considered youthful. On a whim, the pale-eyed boy directed the cute kunoichi towards a lavish antique shop set upon the corner.

"Tenten-san, would you care to look inside? I believe such a place would have an assortment of weaponry you may find interesting."

The young woman blushed slightly at such a considerate thought as she gave his hand a gentle squeeze.

"I'd love to."

As the two young shinobi entered the establishment and went their separate ways, Neji immediately took notice of a large stuffed panda set against the far wall. The creature was set in a menacing pose, swatting the air while reared up on its hind legs. The Byakugan-user could not help but smile faintly as an idea popped into his head.

"Tenten-san, would you come here please?"

From off to the side, the young woman made her way over to witness Neji 'sparring' with the large creature towering above him.

"What do you think, Tenten-san? Surely I would stand a better chance against this opponent than another lecture about youth, am I correct?"

The Hyuuga boy grinned modestly at his earnest attempt at a joke. Unfortunately, his lackluster grasp of humor seemingly backfired as the young woman suddenly burst into tears.

Tenten threw both hands up to her mouth as she cried out in grief.

"_Mom!_"

* * *

Well, this was either one of the funniest things I've written or one of the dumbest. Hopefully both! (Yay idiocy!) 

Hmm, I think I butchered the name of Sasuke's jutsu there, but whatever. I like my version better. :)

Oh yes, in case you were wondering, 'Akina' translates to 'Spring Flower', so I thought it was appropriate. In regards to Sakura's father, though it didn't come up in the story, his name is of course 'Gumbi'. (HA!)

LoL, I really hope I don't have to explain the Tenten/panda joke. (Grin)

Also, one more thing. I have been informed that a talented authoress by the name of 'IceCrome' is currently holding a contest regarding fics for the brand new PeinxBlue pairing. Prizes include personalized one-shots tailor made to your specifications! So go and check out her profile for contest rules and what not.(Author Search 'IceCrome').

This particular authoress has submitted some quality fics that have made me laugh out loud many times, so I also recommend you check out her stories too.

Alright, see you all next time. Hope you enjoyed the story!


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